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Mar. 25th, 2010 | 12:31 am

Hay guys.
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I turned 21

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Dec. 9th, 2009 | 01:22 pm

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Dec. 9th, 2009 | 01:02 pm

Come home. Please. I miss you.

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Sep. 28th, 2009 | 05:56 am

engaged yesterday, the 27th.

wish my mom was here to talk to about it. First major thing to happen to me, and she isnt here.
I'm feeling sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

Miss you mom. So fucking much.

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Jul. 27th, 2009 | 02:09 pm

September 8th, 2008 was the last time I hugged my mother when she could hug me back.
September 10th, 2008 is the last time I saw my mother "alive."


I would give anything to just go back to that hospital room to just hold her unconcious hand. Just to see her breathe. To remember all her features.
I want to hear her voice so badly. To hear her say my name. I forget how it sounds.



Today is a bad day.

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Jun. 26th, 2009 | 11:26 pm

Miserable.
Never felt so alone in my life.
No one has time for me. It was my only day off for almost two weeks.
no one could bother.


its hot. nicks gone. my dads probably with his girlfriend. and i miss my mom.

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Jun. 16th, 2009 | 12:21 am

So after almost 21 years of, "going with the flow," I am changing something drastically.
well, not super drastically. Whenever I say drastically people are disappointed by the actual news.
It's just drastic to me.
I am 100% sure I am pursuing a medical doctorate.
I have thought it over, and found the perfect career for me. A pathologist. It combines my love of pathophysiology and desire to not have patients.
My main problem with nursing is that I LOVE the science behind it, I love knowing how the body works, and how to treat things, etc. However, I hate the bedside, and all other nursing careers aren't really what I'm looking for either. I love the science, but I hate following orders and not being the one to totally implement the science.
Being a pathologist means working in a hospital basically diagnosing biopsies, and other labs, all day.
It's 14+ years of school.
4 undergrad. 4 med. 5+ years of specialized training in pathology.
I am only writing this so one day when I am in hell with tests and whatever, I can look back on this and remember that is what I want to do.

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May. 26th, 2009 | 01:30 pm

Friends Only


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May. 14th, 2009 | 12:24 am

mothers day came and went..don't want to talk about that now.
Finals came and went.
I got an 81 on my nursing final which gave me an 86 in the class, which is decent.
I got an 90 on my patho final which gave me a 90 in the class.
My grades this semester are two A's and a B. That doesn't sound like a lot of work because it sounds like only three classes but my lecture, lab, and two clinical days all get one grade(The B).
I busted my ass for this and I am proud of myself. I feel snobby and mean when I think about how there were these girls that fucking failed the class and said it was too hard when I still passed given my circumstances. If I can do it, so can you. Unless you are really too stupid to understand this shit. I didn't study at all for my final and I still passed. What is wrong with this picture?
I really hope I don't fail later on down the line and have this bite me in the ass.
I'm slightly hungover at 12:30am because I was really drunk at 4pm. My friend Jamar came over and we started drinking at 3. I had to go grocery shopping with nick so I did that while drunk too. Classy.
I've only had one day off from school and work thus far and I spent it getting drunk while the sun was still out.
It's alright with me.
Time to lay down. I feel nauseated. ttyl.

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Apr. 24th, 2009 | 04:42 pm

Todays just one of those days where i miss her a lot.

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